


love, adora

by loverman



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: 5 times adora said she loved catra and the 1 time catra said it, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, Love Confessions, Past Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Season 5 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25257085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loverman/pseuds/loverman
Summary: She thought back to her previous notions on love, about how it could potentially be evil, something used to manipulate those naïve enough to believe in it, she decided once and for all that that could not possibly be true. There was not one evil thing about Adora, not a single bad bone in her body. If Adora believed in love… if she felt love, in any capacity, towards Catra… if she knew in her heart that love was real, enough to use it so casually in moments as special and sacred as this… Then Catra knew that love, whatever the hell it was, was something good.OR...The 5 times Adora confessed her love for Catra and the 1 time Catra confessed back
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 210





	love, adora

**One**

The first time Adora said it, or rather the first time Catra heard it, was at a time when neither one of them was entirely sure about what exactly was being professed. 

Adora had mumbled it in a fit of uncontrollable giggles; they were really young, maybe six or seven, she was laughing her brains out at some ridiculous comment Catra had made, and the words had spun ‘round and ‘round in Catra’s mind like a rollercoaster with one-too-many loop-de-loops. 

“I…love you…” It came out in tiny, overjoyed gasps for air, and while Adora paid the words no mind, seemingly allowing them to spill out of her like they carried little-to-no weight, they had instantly caught Catra’s attention.

“What’s that mean?” She had wondered, face overcome with as much seriousness a six-year-old could muster. She didn’t like not knowing things, she felt it could be used against her somehow and so she was always curious and open to learning new things from everyone in her life. 

Adora’s laughter began to slowly die down as she noticed the intense look Catra was giving her, and she pushed a few loose strands of hair out of her face as she responded, “What’s what mean?” 

“The thing you just said.” She didn’t dare repeat the words, not wanting to say something she didn’t truly mean. 

“Love?” Catra nodded once, just barely, “Um, I’m not sure…I think it’s like when you really like something.” 

That only confused Catra more. “But if you’re not sure, why’d you say it?” She was still giving Adora that serious look, brows furrowed, eyes completely focused on the blonde, a soft pout playing on her lips. Adora examined her face for a moment, maybe two, then shrugged.

“It just felt right.” She said, and then grabbed Catra’s hand and pulled her down the hallway until they made it back to their bunker, ultimately ending the conversation.

However, the words continued to play through Catra’s mind; she didn’t understand. She didn’t understand what the word meant; she didn’t understand why Adora had said it so randomly, when she didn’t even really know what it meant; she didn’t understand what Adora was even talking about when she said it ‘felt right’ because, to Catra, that just sounded ridiculous, even more so than the dumb comment she had made that caused Adora to say those words to her in the first place. 

Was Adora trying to tell Catra that she really liked her? If that was the case, why didn’t she just say ‘I really like you’, why did she have to come up with a whole new word for that? Or was it something else? Was Adora wrong about what that word meant? Or was Adora lying to her…Did the word mean something bad and Adora just didn’t want to admit it? 

Catra thought it over and decided that probably wasn’t the case. Adora had been smiling and laughing when she said it, she wouldn’t look so happy if she had been saying something bad or mean. Regardless, Catra kept that word in the back of her mind, keeping a mental note to figure out what it meant, eventually. 

The next time she heard it, it was Kyle using the word. But he wasn’t saying it the way Adora had said it, he hadn’t even said it to another person. Kyle was saying he loved the grey ration bars, then he said something about how they’re the better choice when compared to the brown ones; everyone at the table agreed, even Adora. 

Catra decided that, if that’s what Adora meant, if she meant that Catra was better than the brown ration bars, that she was glad to know that; it made her heart flutter with a certain type of joy, though she wasn’t exactly sure why, at the time. The next time she saw Adora after her big realization, she made a point of telling Adora that she liked her better than both the brown and the grey ration bars. She said it with an exaggerated smile on her face, hoping to accurately get her point across.

Adora didn’t seem to understand. She simply chuckled and told her, “Thanks, Catra…I think?” 

Catra was still hesitant to use the actual word, but she continued to ponder on it.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**Two**

“Please,” Adora rolled her eyes, “You know I love you.” 

They were having a slight argument when Adora suddenly mumbled it so casually, so nonchalantly, so matter-o-fact-ly in the middle of it all that it really and truly caught Catra off guard.

Catra had started the fight, complaining about how Adora had chosen Lonnie to be on her team for that morning’s training routine, how Catra ended up on Rogelio’s team by default. She yelled at her, told her off for humiliating her in front of their friends and their instructor, telling her that if she wanted Lonnie on her team so badly, maybe she should just go be best friends with her instead. She was jealous, to say the least. She felt that perhaps Adora was starting to like Lonnie better, or that she thought Lonnie was stronger than her, a better fighter than her, a nicer friend than her. Adora had shut down Catra’s argument almost immediately, telling her that the only reason she chose Lonnie was because she wanted the teams to be fair and she knew that, if she and Catra had been on the same team, they would’ve beaten everyone else too quickly. A part of Catra actually believed that because the teams ended up tying, with Kyle being the tie breaker; the other part of Catra was too overcome with envy to give in. 

“Whatever, Adora, I don’t need your pity.” She had said, “If you dislike me so much then-“ And that’s when Adora had cut her off, uttering those three words. 

Catra still didn’t fully understand what they meant.

She stayed silent.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**Three**

Catra hated not knowing what to say. She hated that Adora could so easily say those words to her and all she could do was stare back at her, praying to whoever was listening that Adora wouldn’t be upset with her for not saying it back. 

She’d heard it used a few more times around the Fright Zone. A few times by some of the cadets in other force teams, once or twice while passing by the older Horde soldiers, she even heard Shadow Weaver use the word once… Now, that one caught her way off guard. Sure, she wasn’t exactly certain what the hell love was, but she had enough of an idea to know that it was something good and she didn’t think there was anything good about Shadow Weaver. The problem was, every time she heard the word being used, it was in a different context. Most of the time, she heard it being used as a verb, something that you would do… Love was something you would do to something or someone else, it was an action… But then some other times, she would hear it being used as something you would give to somebody, as if it was some kind of gift… 

However the most confusing context she’d heard it in was when someone was referring to it as if it was some magical, mystical thing – She didn’t understand how that was possible. How was love…magic? Were they simply the same thing? Was there magic in the idea of love? Was magic powered by love? It just didn’t make any sense to her… After all, they had always been taught that magic was the root of all evil, and it definitely didn’t help her understanding when she realized that Shadow Weaver, the most horrifyingly evil person Catra had ever met, was capable of using magic. 

When she made that connection, the connection between Shadow Weaver, and love, and magic, something kind of clicked. She began to think that love was simply a manipulation tactic; something people used to their own advantage, something you’d say when you want something out of somebody else. And she really started to believe that that may be the case…

That is until the third time Adora said it to her. 

She remembers that night so clearly, probably because she replayed it in her head so often that she had basically committed the whole thing to memory. If her life were a movie, that night would be her favourite scene.

She was curled up at the end of Adora’s bed, it was late and she had been trying to fall asleep for a few hours, but to no avail. Every time she did begin to doze off, her nerves would go off and she’d shoot up in fear, feeling her her heart grow heavy, though it pounded so fervently against her chest that you’d think it was lighter than air. Her head began to ache in the same way it had been doing all throughout the day and she let out an exasperated sigh, realizing that it would only make it all the more difficult for her to get some rest.

Noticing a bit of movement coming from the upper half of the bed, she looked up and caught Adora’s gaze.

“Catra? You still awake?”

“Mhmm.” She mumbled, sighing as she slicked her frizzy hair back, attempting to keep it out of her face, though she knew it would swoop back down a minute later. 

“Having trouble sleeping?” Catra nodded and though she could just barely see the action in the dark, Adora almost immediately scooted to the side, pulling one corner of her covers down, “C’mere.” Catra wasted no time, making her way over into Adora’s welcoming arms. 

“What’s the matter?” Adora held her so closely, so tightly in her strong arms that Catra’s once-escalating heartbeat began to slow itself, allowing her to finally be able to hear herself think again. 

Catra breathed deeply, taking in Adora’s scent, noting how much it calmed her to be enveloped in the girl’s arms, to breathe her in, to listen to her talk in that hushed whisper that made her feel like they were the only two people around (despite knowing that the reason Adora was whispering was to avoid disturbing everyone else in the room). 

“Um…” She swallowed hard, silently debating if she wanted to be honest about what was really keeping her up. When she looked up at the blonde and caught eye of a soft, innocent smile, she continued. “I’ve been having really weird dreams lately…Actually, they’re more like nightmares, and now I haven’t been able to sleep right the past couple nights cause I’m worried I’ll have them again.”

“Oh,” Her smile falters, “So you haven’t been sleeping for…How many nights, exactly?”

“I don’t know, like, two or three?” At that, the faded smile was completely replaced by a deep look of concern, “Don’t worry about it, Adora, I’m fine.” 

Adora began stroking Catra’s thick frizz with a touch so gentle it actually soothed her migraine. “How can you admit to me that you haven’t slept in three da-“

“Two or three.” Catra corrected.

“Fine; yadda, yadda, yadda, in two or three days and expect me not to worry?” 

“Well, what about you? You’re awake too…” Catra mumbled, cuddling even closer to the girl, allowing herself to rest her head against her chest. Something about listening to Adora’s heartbeat late at night, in the quiet darkness of their bunker, it made her feel as though she was out in the wilderness, listening to someone tell the hauntingly beautiful story of an Etherian Epic. 

“But we’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you.” Adora sighed, “I just care about you, is all… If you’d been having nightmares, I wish you would’ve told me sooner, I could’ve done something to hel-“ She glanced down at the other girl only to see that her face had relaxed, her eyes had drifted shut, and a soft purr was erupting out of her. 

She looked so peaceful, Adora couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face or the feeling of longing that washed over her as she whispered a gentle, “Goodnight, my love.” 

Catra would’ve done a double take if she didn’t know for sure it would alert Adora that she was, in fact, still awake. However she knows for sure that her heart rate sped up once more at hearing Adora’s new use of the word, that word that had brought Catra so much trouble. She simply hoped Adora could not tell. 

She thought back to her previous notions on love, about how it could potentially be evil, something used to manipulate those naïve enough to believe in it, she decided once and for all that that could not possibly be true. There was not one evil thing about Adora, not a single bad bone in her body. If Adora believed in love… if she felt love, in any capacity, towards Catra… if she knew in her heart that love was real, enough to use it so casually in moments as special and sacred as this… Then Catra knew that love, whatever the hell it was, was something good. 

She wonders if the word makes Adora’s heart flutter, too. A part of her really hopes the answer is yes.

Though, her use of the word, to imply that Catra *was* Adora’s love… That only added to her confusion. It seemed that every time she got one step closer to understanding what love was, she ended up going two steps back. Perhaps even three, or four steps. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**Four**

It was under her breath, she whispered it to herself… Quiet, hushed, meant to fall on deaf ears. Despite telling Catra time and time again that she loves her, this time… This time Adora willed it go unheard.

But it didn’t. Catra heard it loud and clear, it echoed in her mind the moment it fell off Adora’s lips. Lips that Catra couldn’t help but to allow her gaze to linger on. Lips that appeared to be so pink, so soft, so plum, all Catra wanted to know was how they would feel against her own. 

“God, I am so in love with you.” 

Catra had never realized that was another option. She had never considered that love could be something you were ‘in’. She decided that she definitely liked the idea of Adora being ‘in’ love with her, though she wondered why it would be something she would want to hide. Why wouldn’t Adora just say it the way she had all those other times? 

She made an attempt to swallow the lump in her throat but it remained. Her eyes were still focused on Adora’s mouth, waiting for something… She couldn’t decide what, exactly. She simply knew two things…

Number one being that she wants to hear those words again. She wants to hear Adora speak them again. She wants Adora to repeat those words over and over and over again for the rest of their lives because nothing has ever made her heart flutter the way hearing those words fall off Adora’s tongue did. She wants to bathe in those words. She wills them to play on repeat in the back of her mind until they inevitably drive her insane, almost as though those words, those eight little words, are the soundtrack to her life.

Number two is that she wants to kiss those words right off of Adora’s lips. 

Adora says nothing afterwards, she simply lets out an airy laugh, one so delicate, so light, Catra questions if she’s just as in love with Adora as she is with her…

Again, she says nothing. She would remain silent even if she hadn’t wanted to, because it was clear that Adora was not making that comment for her, but simply for herself, and Catra simply felt that it would be unfair of her take this moment from Adora. Instead, they both stood there, silent, breathless, staring at one another’s lips. And when Catra saw Adora swipe her tongue over her bottom lip, her breath hitched. Love looks beautiful on Adora, she thought. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**Five**

Love may just be useless. 

Adora, who had so unabashedly admitted to loving Catra on multiple occasions, had left her. 

One moment, they were together, laughing, talking, enjoying each other’s company, they were happy. The next moment, Catra’s not sure… She genuinely doesn’t understand what happened. She doesn’t understand how Adora could just leave.

She thinks back to the time when she decided that Adora could not possibly be evil. She thinks about the Horde, about how evil Hordak and Shadow Weaver truly are, about how she’d always known the truth about them and yet she’d never bothered to warn Adora… Then again, she didn’t think it would be a problem, she didn’t think it would bother her, or make a difference for her. A part of her thought maybe she even knew already. She realized now that Adora would never let something like that go, not even if it was the simpler choice. Adora isn’t evil. 

Adora is… incredible. She thinks about how wonderful she is, how brilliant, how powerful, how talented, how enchanting, how beautiful… How much she makes her feel. 

And then… Then she thinks back to the moment she found out, the moment Adora told her she was leaving. Leaving the Horde, leaving her newly earned title as force captain, leaving Catra. 

“I’m not going home, Catra.” She had said, “I can’t. Not after everything I’ve seen…” She remembers how her tone had turned soft, “Come with me, you don’t have to go back there, we can fix this.” And then, when she saw the hesitant look on Catra’s face, “I love you. Please.” 

She remembers her heart shattering. 

Adora had used her love to try and persuade her to join the rebellion, to leave the Horde… She had tried to manipulate her. Adora may not be evil, but Catra is beginning to believe that love is. 

Love was supposed to keep Adora here, with her. Love was supposed to be something amazing. Love was supposed to make her heart flutter, not break it into a million pieces. Love does nothing but hurt people. Love betrayed her. Adora betrayed her. And now? Now she wanted revenge.

God, was she glad she never made her own confession of love. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

**One More…**

Oh.  
Oh, that’s what love is.

After everything they’d been through… All the pain, the fighting, the secrets, the touches, the gazes, the longing, after all of it… Adora was just going to give herself up. She was going to sacrifice herself for the good of Etheria. As if she didn’t matter, as if all she was to these people was a solution to their problems. Catra hated it. She hated all of it. But not Adora. She could never hate Adora. 

Adora had loved her. Adora had broken her heart. And Adora had put it back together again. 

But every passing moment since Adora took on the failsafe had been another moment in which Catra felt her heart being pulled apart all over again. How could she stand to lose her again?

She couldn’t. 

She couldn’t bear to lose her. For years, she had been the one putting her through pain, the one hurting her, but not anymore. She would do everything she possibly could to protect her. Because she just couldn’t lose her. Not yet. Especially not when… when Adora didn’t even know the truth. 

And that’s how she found herself in her current position, sitting below the heart of Etheria, Adora in her arms, falling limp, tears in both their eyes. She gasped for air, something she wished Adora was capable of doing, too, in that moment. But she couldn’t because she was losing her. 

“Don’t you get it?” She was pleading for Adora to listen to her, to listen clearly to every word she was about to say, “I love you.” She’d never said those words before. “I always have.” She felt an overwhelming amount of guilt at not having figured it out sooner. Adora had known all along, it seems. Why hadn’t she? “So please, just this once…Stay.”

“You love me?” Adora asked her after a moment, like it wasn’t obvious. Like it hadn’t always been obvious to everyone but Catra herself. 

Catra couldn’t help but smile, “You’re such an idiot.” This girl… This idiot… Taught her how to love. 

“I love you, too.” Her heart flutters the way it always does when she hears those words come from Adora’s mouth, and then it dawns on her that she was never actually supposed to know that Adora fully, truly, completely loved her until now. This was her confession but it was Adora’s, too. 

So she did the one thing she’d been dying to do for years now, she kissed her. 

That’s when she realized, love is not evil. It never was. Love is the single most powerful thing she’s ever felt…and she feels it for Adora. Adora feels it for her. They love one another. 

She finds herself repeating it in her mind, over and over.

“I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora. I love Adora... I am completely, entirely, and unequivocally in love with Adora.” And she makes a mental note to remind Adora, as well, at every possible chance she gets. 

Because she loves her. She loves Adora. She always has. 

**Author's Note:**

> tbh when i decided to write something like this i wanted it to be super long but oh well. i started writing in the middle of the night and now it’s 9am and i’m still awake lmfao goodnight
> 
> tumblr: danisdreaming
> 
> twitter: whatarecartoons


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